Strengthening Your Marriage While TTC: Navigating the Wait with Kaitlan Merz
Trying to conceive after a vasectomy reversal is an emotional journey. Each month brings renewed hope, yet the disappointment of negative tests can weigh heavily on both partners. When the wait stretches longer than expected, it can create tension, frustration, and uncertainty about the future.
For many couples, the emotional burden of infertility begins to impact their relationship. Conversations become centered around cycle tracking and timing, leaving little room for genuine connection. The pressure can feel overwhelming, leading to feelings of isolation, resentment, or even self-doubt.
That is why I invited Kaitlan Merz to share her story. She and her husband, Nick, have spent five years navigating the ups and downs of post-vasectomy reversal conception. Through this process, they have found ways to stay connected, strengthen their faith, and support each other, even when hope felt distant.
In this episode, Kaitlan opens up about how trying to conceive has tested their relationship, the challenges of infertility in a blended family, and how she finally discovered the root cause of her fertility struggles.
The Reality of TTC After a Vasectomy Reversal
Kaitlan and Nick knew from the beginning that their journey to conceive would be different. Since Nick had a vasectomy after his daughter was born, they scheduled a reversal soon after their wedding in 2020, believing it was the right step toward expanding their family.
The procedure was successful, sperm returned, and everything looked promising. But as the months passed with no pregnancy, Kaitlan found herself questioning everything.
- Did the reversal truly work?
- Was there something wrong that doctors were missing?
- Why was it taking so long when everything appeared normal?
Her doctor reassured her that everything looked fine and encouraged her to try medicated cycles. But after multiple failed attempts, including unsuccessful IUIs, Kaitlan realized that she needed to keep searching for answers.
She later learned a powerful lesson: If something feels off, trust your instincts and keep advocating for yourself.
How TTC Can Strain a Marriage (And What to Do About It)
At the beginning of their journey, Kaitlan was determined to do everything right. She tracked every cycle, planned their schedule around fertility windows, and analyzed every possible symptom.
What started as an exciting new chapter in their marriage quickly became a source of stress. The intimacy that once felt natural became focused on schedules and timing. Instead of feeling connected, Kaitlan felt pressure, and Nick struggled to understand her growing frustration.
One of the biggest challenges she faced was feeling like her husband did not experience the weight of infertility in the same way. Because he already had children from a previous relationship, she often wondered if he truly understood the depth of her longing for a baby.
Through honest conversations, intentional time together, and prioritizing their faith, they learned how to strengthen their relationship in the midst of uncertainty.
Key Ways to Protect Your Marriage While TTC:
- Prioritize faith together – They made prayer a daily practice, speaking life over their marriage and their future family.
- Communicate openly – Kaitlan learned to express her feelings rather than internalizing frustration and resentment.
- Stay connected beyond TTC – They set boundaries around fertility discussions and made time for shared experiences outside of their journey to conceive.
How Kaitlan Finally Got Answers After Years of Dismissal
For years, Kaitlan was told that everything looked fine. Standard bloodwork came back normal, and doctors suggested that all she needed was more time.
Finally, after five years of unexplained infertility, she met with a NaProTechnology doctor. Within minutes, the doctor suspected endometriosis—something no other provider had even mentioned.
A diagnostic laparoscopy confirmed stage four endometriosis. Adhesions had fused her ovaries to her uterus, preventing them from functioning properly. Even though she had gone through fertility treatments, this underlying condition had never been addressed.
This experience reinforced a critical lesson: If pregnancy is not happening, keep searching for answers. Finding a provider who looks at the whole picture can make all the difference.
Staying Hopeful in the Wait
Despite the setbacks, Kaitlan has not lost hope. She has seen God move in her life, providing encouragement, community, and unexpected financial support along the way.
If you are still waiting for your baby, she encourages you to remember:
- Your journey is not a reflection of your worth.
- Your marriage is more important than any timeline.
- Your story is not over.
She emphasizes the importance of surrounding yourself with a strong support system. Being in a faith-based community has helped her stay grounded, and she encourages other women to seek out connections that bring encouragement rather than discouragement.
Your journey is not wasted. You are not alone. And the wait does not mean the answer is no.
If our story resonates with you, here are a few ways to connect:
- Join Our Facebook Community: Conceiving After Vasectomy Reversal for support and encouragement.
- Subscribe to My Podcast: Conceiving After Vasectomy Reversal for real stories, practical tips, and faith-filled insights.
- Work With Me: Explore personalized coaching to optimize your fertility journey.
